Whom Does God Help?

Many, many, many years ago, I was 18 and living in Romania. Our country was called  “a romance island  in the mist of a slavic SEA!  (we were bordered by the Soviet Union and the language spoken there was Russian -slavic) Today, a majority of the Romanian boarder is with Ukraine…and that is another story.

Romania,  contrary to many’s impression, was not part of the former Soviet Union, was “only” liberated by it!!! (read sarcasm) We spoke Romanian, and yes, were forced to learn Russian, but all I remember are two words: Nhiet (NO) and Haraso sp??? (GOOD) This clearly illustrates the saying “you could take a horse to the water, but can’t make it drink!” meaning, we did not want to learn Russian, and didn’t!

Going to college was so competitive that my mom decided to hire a tutor, which she did, at a huge expense. The tutor, a virgin in her late thirties, blushed furiously each time my boyfriend escorted me to her door.

My one-hour lessons remind me of another story, in which a boy hated to eat oatmeal, but loved to play football. All I remember from this story was a clock, and  its slowly moving handles. When the boy was forced to eat oatmeal, he thought: Oh time moves so slowly when I have to eat oatmeal! and   when he played ball, he’d think, oh time moves so fast when I play ball!

Just like the boy in the story, my tutoring lessons were endless…

The goal of this torture was to prepare me for a hard exam to be allowed as a student in the University of Bucharest, the English Department. The number of students who were going to “make it” in the elite university was very limited, so the success of these tutoring lessons was crucial for my future. Frankly, my priority was to finish high school and get married to the love of my life, but Mom didn’t think that was such a great idea. The result was that Mom won, and the tutoring and waste of money went on for a while, until one day, the virgin- tutor burst with hatred: ” You will NEVER be able to put together a sentence in English, you are hopeless!” and she blushed, sure sign she was really, really angry.

That one day, I just could no longer take it and stood up, walked to the entrance and with no words or paying her for the insults I left the place of torture and went with my boyfriend and ate ice cream! Actually a special drink called “Cafe Frape.” Yummy!

My Mom was upset, but truly she was unable to make me “drink” this woman’s tutoring style.

We found a new tutor, “found” is not the right word…She came highly recommended by a friend.

Her tutoring style was the opposite of the blushing virgin’s and soon under her guidance and continuous praise, I started to speak English.

Slowly, but surely, I loved it and made it into the elite group of college students who were allowed in the University of Bucharest.

My entire life was shaped by this ONE event. By the decision I made to ignore the tutor who discouraged and insulted me, and persevere under the guidance of a positive teacher, who truly believed in my potential to put two words together in the English language and make sense.

After graduation from college I worked for various International Exhibitions, then I was hired to translate for the US Embassy, eventually I escaped communism and the Russian liberation and became a US citizen. I got married in America, raised a family and oh, shock!!! Wrote a book in English and shock again, it was published.

Shock, shock, shock, YOU are reading a blog written by the “idiot” who was assured will NEVER put two words together in English, and make sense.



Take the Word NEVER out of Your Head, and Replce it with, “WHEN THERE IS A WILL, THERE IS A WAY!”

In 1989 when the tyrant Ceausescu, President of Romania, was executed on Christmas Day, I promised myself to eradicate from my vocabulary, but most importantly, from my subconscious mind, the word “NEVER.”

Why might you wonder? I was sitting  in Philadelphia, watching his execution from my living room in the USA.

That was the problem, years before the falling of Communism I defected from Romania, convinced it will never, NEVER change, and I wanted to be free! And now the NEVER was happening under my eyes on CNN!!!!! This was the lesson learned: NEVER SAY NEVER!!!

I receive a lot of inquiries on my blog about who are you “guys” and I have to disappoint, but the “guys,” is ONE woman. That brings me to the

“When there is a WILL there is a WAY.” I am a published author, blogger and online Counselor for Proven Therapy (https://www.proventherapy.com/Rodica)

I hold a B.A. in English and Romania and MS in Counseling and Clinical Psychology, but the reason I disclose this information, is because I have a short story (promise) to illustrate:” where is a will, there is a WAY!!!”

After high school in Romania, the competition to enter into college was ferocious. My mom, got me a tutor in English. She was expensive and known to be very competent.

On a first tutoring lesson, she corrected every single word I was attempting to say in English. At the end, she looked at me, her face red as a lobster, and said: “You are hopeless! I never seen anyone as untalented at languages. Give up. You will never be able to speak a sentence in English.”

I went home crying, because I really didn’t think I was that bad, but when an “expert” tells you, you, you are, than the tendency is to believe the expert. DON’T!!!!!!!

Only YOU know your own potential. Believe in YOU!!!

We didn’t give up and my mom took me to a different tutor.

Unlike the first, she was smiling and praising every single word I said in English. Little by little, the fear that I was incapable to utter two words in English disappeared and was replaced by the confidence that my new tutor was giving me! The power of PRAISE!!! 

The end of the story is that not only did I enter the Department of English of the University of Bucharest, but earned my BA in English and Romanian and I defended my Thesis.

Later, I became a translator for the U.S. Embassy in Bucharest, and finally after years of struggle made a home in the US beginning in 1981.

When my first article was published in The Christian Science Monitor, I thought to mail the first tutor a copy; Later, when my first book was publish in English, written by ME, I thought of sending her a copy. I didn’t.

When I graduated with a Master of  Science in Counseling and Clinical Psychology, I thought of her again.

I tried to find her address, but… found out she was DEAD!