The Bachelorette’s Finalle 2015… am I really watching it?

The Bachelor, followed by its female counterpart, The Bachelorette, because, let’s face it, the shows have been successful and millions have been watching both for years! Why? Why not!

Years ago, when my young adult daughter mentioned college parties built around watching these shows I thought, really? and I kept it a secret!

Years went by, and here I was this season re-descovering The Bachelorette! Oh! The plot got complex over the year, the drama, the sex behind doors that close in our face! The honest tears and desperation exhibited by Kaitlyn, given the seriousness of the problem. Hey, it must be really hard to have dates in exotic places at the unlimited expense of ABC, because let’s face it, millions watch it and I, among them!

To top it all, I am writing about it! What is wrong with me? Well… it’s like therapy. I have to get it out of my system.

Kaitlyn had to make the life-shattering choice: Nick or Shawn?
Nick was the guy with the “preexisting relationship,” like a health “pre-existing condition,” but he got to have sex with her and really fell in love… or lust? No matter which way one looked it, the cliche, “it’s complicated,” applied!

This is a spontanious post! I had to write or risk insomnia! I decided to post when I watched Nick, heart broken, leaving Kaitlyn, who had just unexpectedly rejected him… He stared at the “rejected diamond ring,” and I thought, “he probably had to return it to some famous jewelry store.” Oh NO! Suddenly he threw the ring! Where did it go? Could I have it and pay my debts? Was it fake? Did Shawn may be, just may be, found it and proposed?

I will never know! Darn!
However, as in all good soaps, Shawn was the ONE AND ONLY and I am convinced they will live happily ever after.

The show is still on, as I am writing this post, but they are all just “coming to terms” with life’s real tragedies. I hope they will survive! ūüôā

As for me, I am debating whether to watch one of my favorite Mexican soap operas. At least they have the advantage to be subtitled and I LOVE the sound of the Spanish language!

Dating After You Turn 50!

Dating  in any age group could be a challenge.

Each age group seeks something else from a “potential” partner.

I don’t know about you, but when I was a teenager, and as ALL teenagers I saw myself ¬†immortal and knew it all, I ignored all the advice given to me by those that “knew.” I eloped and got married! What were my needs at 18? Definitely sexual, as now, I know enough ¬†about the role hormones ¬†in our love decisions. Then, I thought it was “love.” Now I know it was “lust.”

When I turned 30 I was ¬†already divorced from the first “love of my life.”

In a new environment, I started dating and also reading every statistic in Women’s Magazines which assured me once a woman turned 30 her chances of finding a partner went down drastically. Hmm… bad news, but against the statistical odds, I re-married and we had two beautiful daughters. What were my needs at that time? I definitely knew I didn’t know it all, I also had different goals, such as having children with a trustworthy partner. Was sex still playing a great role? You bet! That’s how kids are conceived.

Years went by, the children grew up, the second “love of my life,” died, and here I was again, single and in my fifties…

Hmm… did I think I knew it all? No. Were my hormones raging to the point of confusing lust with love? No. Did I want to get pregnant and raise more children? Oh… well that would have been a miracle. No miracle happened.

On the other hand, after a few years of being by myself, and enjoying the company of my parrot and three dogs, I did consider starting to date again. What was I looking for?

Someone with a sense of humor, trustworthy and like-minded. Such as what? To like travel, shows and sometimes going out or having friends over. Oh! And to love ¬†children and dogs. Yes, this was a requirement, as I don’t trust people who don’t like children and animals. Call me prejudiced.

I thought ¬†this was a reasonable “wishful list,” as I was prepared to reciprocate everything I sought in a potential companion. I knew a good ¬†relationship is a two-way street and I only travel on this “type” of streets.

And… where was I going to find these ¬†“potential” men? I don’t go to bars, I don’t go to a church of single people… Thank God for internet dating sites, right?

I was soon to find out that the age groups I attracted were either much younger, looking for a “mama,” or someone to pay their bills, men my age who who were used to have sex on a first date, possibly in the back of a car, if it was spacious enough, or men 30 years older then me, who were on the verge of investing in the diaper industry.

After serious consideration, I gave up  looking for a male companion.

Why? Perhaps because I have learned valuable life lessons and ¬†in my fifties I looked for a soul connection, rather than a “must” have partner to satisfy the sexual needs I had at 18, or the need to have children, a status and a husband if we are 30 and still seeking that perfect partner.

My personal conclusion is that we are wiser and deeper after fifty.

We know not only what we need from another, but what we could realistically offer to a ¬†committed companion. We don’t have the need to get married or have children. In this age group the main need is for companionship, meaning and soul connection. Well, sex is a constant, in all age groups, but it gains a different meaning as we grow wiser, just as good wines get better with age.

Is it worth it to be selective? Which would you rather be? Alone, or rather “single,” with your friends, hobbies and pets, or not alone but lonely with the wrong companion?

The choice is ours.

Rodica

 

https://www.proventherapy.com/Rodica