With Thanksgiving behind us, we are one step ahead to walking yet another year through the labyrinth that is “politically correct” labeled now, “The Holidays!”
We still have to walk through the narrow corridor of Black Friday and then the frenzy of getting whatever is left over if one didn’t wake up at 2:00 AM on Friday to get the technological gear in fashion and demand this year! What would our child say? Imagine the disappointment experienced and the life-lasting trauma of not having whatever game, jewelry or piece of clothing one wished for… Forget war caused Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD!) The trauma of not having exactly what one wished, when they wished it! That IS real trauma!!! Yes I am sarcastic because as a society, in general, we lost perspective of what is really important in life and it would be nice to regain perspective!
Perhaps, our peace of mind is possible if we only take a few steps in the opposite direction.
The Key to our sanity could be easier than we think:
STOP! THINK! ACT DIFFERENTLY THIS YEAR! SEE HOW IT FEELS!
What if, instead of stuffing ourselves with 3500 worth of calories at the Thanksgiving table, we eat on a SMALLER PLATE. What if we also participate in one of the many projects organized by churches and communities everywhere and feed the homeless. It is the truth that there is more joy in giving than in receiving, if we would only have the courage to try.
What if instead of beginning the endless chase for more “things” which tomorrow will be forgotten in a corner, we give gifts from our true heart, not as much our pockets.
Let’s give a book of services one could perform himself or herself. A massage? A cooked meal on a night our partner is tired? A gift of a trip to a near by park and pick nick when spring arrives. How about those chores she expects you to do and you say “later” and she ends up doing them? Yes, I am talking about taking the garbage out!
How about if like me, you are an empty nest? What the hack does that mean? Empty?
Once a doctor asked me, “Do you live alone?”
“No,” I responded.
He looked at me puzzled: “You circled divorced, on the form…”
Yes, divorced, not alone.
“I live with three dogs and a parrot. Every morning, when I go in the kitchen to make my coffee, Max, my African Grey, greets me with, “I LOVE you!” And he means it!
How many people are that lucky, to be told how much they are loved, sincerely, every morning? The KEY to this blissful relationship is that I say it back to him: I love you too!
Oh, and the benefit, African Grey live to be 80 years old, so this is a long term blessing and joy which I will pass on to my daughter, unless I live to be 150!!!
Next week I will travel to see friends in Florida. I could not afford holiday prices, so I settled for the cheapest travel, between the two major holidays, when plane tickets doubled. I assure you the ocean will be equally beautiful the day before Christmas.
It’s all in our minds!
Any day could be what we make it to be! The key of being content, peaceful, dare I say… happy and staying on track, OUR personal track, not that of the big corporations, is to have confidence in our ideas and to not be afraid to have the “traditions fit our needs and not us fit into the traditions!”
It was a Friday evening and I was alone. I decided this was not going to stop me from eating in my favorite Italian Restaurant.
The line was long enough that required the hostess to hand vibrating devices to the guests, so they would have the convenience to wonder in the Mall and when the device vibrated return to the restaurant.
Unlike most times, I was happy to wait, may I dare say, I was grateful at the opportunity to “kill time.”. There was no other place to rush, no one depending on me, no kids to drive anywhere, no hungry husband to feed or wash to do. I was just responsible for myself, a new odd feeling, as if it wasn’t right, as if to be in charge of only myself, was not enough. However, this was the reality of that particular evening: I was alone and lonely. I felt incomplete after years of pouring my love and focusing on others, now I was forced to look inside myself to determine if “the container of ME” was empty, and if so, what would it take to replenish it with love of self…
This was happening after my divorce, and I was determined to not fall into the stereotype of “rebounding,” of diving head first, numb heart, into the arms of the first available male, so on the surface I wouldn’t be alone, yet feel lonely inside.This time, I was going to do it right: Get to know myself first, take my time to understand what I really needed, and more importantly, what I could offer an eventual new life- partner. Above it all, I was determined to have the courage to be alone, in the physical world, until I was comfortable enough and love myself enough to not feel lonely!
Going out alone, on a Friday night, was a first small step, which felt huge at the time…
“”How big is the party you are expecting?” the hostess asked, handing me the “call back vibrating device.”
I breathed in, I breathed out, slowly…
“Table for one, please.” I asked the restaurant hostess.
She handed me the “call back” device hesitantly:
“For a party of ONE, the wait would be longer…”
I assured her time was not a problem and grabbed the call back device.
In time, it got easier and easier to be a “party of one.” Many times it was a game I played counting how many other parties of ONE were in a movie theater for instance, and if I were the only one, I’d treat myself with ice cream, after the show, to celebrate being a party of one and feeling better and better in my own company.
After a few months of being alone and getting used to myself, I had to admit that in the last years of my married life, I was not alone, but I was lonely most of the time.Whose fault was it? His? Mine? I settled for both. Relationships are two-way streets and the grey areas are predominant. There is no such thing as his or her “fault.” When a relationship starts to deteriorate, the key is unmet expectations on both sides.
The lesson I learned is to identify my own unhealthy patterns, the “whys,” of my actions, so in the future I would be able to change repeating the same mistakes, into life lessons, from which I learned and will never repeat.
Most importantly, I understood that the only behavior and attitude I have the right and the power to change is MINE, and before I’d say “I love you,” to somebody else, I need to look in the mirror at myself, say “I love you,” and mean it.
“Party of one, please, and I don’t care how long it takes!”
Today I am alone, but by no means lonely!
As I did for Thanksgiving, as part of my DIRECT service to the Universal Power we call God, will be available for chats with anyone who feels lonely or just feels a chat would do them good.Remember, we are all special in our own way and there is a part of God in each of us.
Please call, FREE (only cells and NO international calls please): 717 706 9503
Tuesday, December 24
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Thursday, December 25 (Christmas Day)
Hours: 2:00 PM -6 PM