Why Holidays Are So Hard for Some of Us (in preparation of next week scheduled telephone chats)

I will not even attempt to guess why the Holidays are hard for you… All I could say is, I hope our time together will make you feel better.

It could be unpaid bills, not enough money to buy your kids the desired toys, or the expectation that once again the “family” will sit together and all will start just fine, until Uncle Frank gets too drunk and remembers bad things of long ago…It could be the regret that once you had a family and festive meals, but now you are alone and depressed…

All I could write about is why the holidays are hard for my family and me in particular.

In 2005, in November, as I was driving home from an Al Anon meeting (meetings to support the families of alcoholics), my phone rang. It was 10:00 PM and reluctantly I pulled the car to the side of the road.

I picked up and answered: “Hello?”

“He is dead!!!”‘a man’s voice said. It was my ex-husband’s brother.

He was letting me know my ex-husband completed suicide and told me I must tell our teen daughters immediately. After all he was there father! I hesitated, but for once didn’t listen my gut.

I drove home quickly, woke up my youngest, and as gently as I could whispered:

” Honey, I am so sorry…Your father is dead!”

She was 15 at the time. My  older was out with her boyfriend. I called them and asked to come home, there was an emergency.

I went to my youngest’ s bed again. She  was motionless, as if in a trance. I shook her  shook.  I held her tighter…but I could not transfer her any courage or strength. I was empty!

” I know this is terrible,” I said and hugged her. She pushed me away.

Soon the elder daughter and her boyfriend arrived, and we all sat there, in the living room, crying and shivering and not coming to terms with the reality of the sudden chosen death of their father who was leaving behind so many unanswered questions for all of us…

How do you understand? Come to terms? Heal? Is it even possible.

The best explanation of life of people who survived the suicide of someone close is: as if you rebuilt a life around a hole, but life will never be the same.

Support groups, friends, family, church and community… what helps most?

We will discuss it next week, if you call.

Please see the schedule in the post.

Here come holidays again!—THE TRUTH!!!!!!! and HELP!!!!!

Oh! These two months, November and December, I’d like to vote a 10-month year! Instead of what we do, which,  it probably  never enough and gets us depressed, lets take a looooong trip to distress our brain cluttered with “things.”

In our business of psychotherapy it is known that holidays are not easy and the glittering façade makes more people sad than happy.

We already have Christmas Trees, bells, decorations….. and anxiety!


Some of you know I am by profession an online  Counselor.

In honor of the Holidays, I would like to offer my readers a gift of “chat” if they feel it would help them.

I will be available at:

Cell 717 706 903  (please no international calls or calls  from land line)

Beginning Wednesday   4-7 PM ; Thursday 11 AM to – 8 PM ;and Friday 12 – 2 PM

Please leave a message  if I  am on  line with another reader. Your call will be returned.

This is a personal gift of thank you and not connected to my regular job as an on line therapist at Proven Therapy where I am available daily and you could also contact me by personal email.


May we enjoy these Holydays together and distressed, in the spirit they were meant.

Readers are invited to write comments of delicious deserts and other fun cheap:) ideas.

We are on The East Coast.

BEST TO ALL and thank you or for chatting with me:) and be truthful.