Mom Touching Daughter’s Breasts?????

Breasts seem to be a popular  preoccupation with both men and women, for very different reasons.

However, yesterday, looking at the stats of The Nude Truth,” I noticed that someone searched for “Mom touching my breasts…” 

My motherly instincts or perhaps common sense, alerted me that somewhere in these immense world of ours, A GIRL was confused about her mom touching her breasts. I did not know the place, age or for that matter, anything about who did the search. It could have been a search done for a school project about “good touch bad touch,” or may be not.

I woke up this morning with this girl on my mind and questioning:

Did she get her answer? Why was she searching in the first place? More importantly, IS SHE SAFE?

As a result, I am writing this post about good touch, bad touch and who and under what circumstances is one allowed to touch your private parts.

RESPECT

When I went to school to become an instructor and teach new mothers how to massage their babies, the first thing we learn was to ask the baby for permission to be touched, even if a few months old baby didn’t understand, yet, the mother had to show respect.

This post is written for young people under the age of consent, which I believe is 18 (sometimes 16, but I stick with 18.)

It’s purpose is to give very general guidelines about good touch and bad touch and if you think someone is touching you inappropriately, please speak to someone you trust or a school counselor immediately.

As a general rule,  when you are old enough to wash yourself your private parts, no one should be allowed to touch you.

Exception:

If you have a medical problem and a doctor must help you. Generally, if touching of private parts is involved, in the exam room a nurse will always be present in addition to your  parent or guardian.

You must feel SAFE. You must BE SAFE and if you question why is this happening, have mixed feelings, fear, are confused, listen to your gut feelings, your instincts. Rarely our instincts are wrong.

Clearly, and I hope, the girl who searched yesterday on the topic of “mom touching my breasts,” searches again. Unless you were in an accident and your mom was trying to see if you are hurt and assess taking you for medical help, or she was applying a  cold compress to soothe your pain because you bumped into a hard object, she should not have touched your breasts or your vagina.

Good touch:

If a mother wishes to show love through touch, she may massage a child’s back, neck, feet, hands, always asking for permission, no matter which part of another person’s body one touches, first show respect.

Skin is our largest organ. Experiments show over and over again the importance of good touch, especially in the first year of life and throughout our lives.

I am passionate for good touch, but equally passionate for protecting the innocent against pedophiles.

Unfortunately, a pedophile could be anyone, even a parent, relative, someone you trust and love. Statistics show such is the case in many abuse situations.

This is why it is important  that YOU keep in mind these rules, so simple, yet hard to follow because how could a daughter admit to herself, her mom is touching her breasts with other than love on her mind? Yet, it happens and if there is a questioning in your “gut,” confusion, or you are asked to keep it a secret, please speak with someone you trust immediately to avoid being scarred for life.

I do know many teens from allover the world follow this blog. I hope you read this post and it helps you or someone you know.

This is for YOU ALL with respect and concern. Your bodies are yours, not to be touched inappropriately by anyone. By respecting your bodies, you respect yourselves.

I hope this post helps the girl who searched yesterday and others in the large world.

Please know, a woman far away, me, is concerned about YOU and wrote this post in hopes you will seek help and feel better!

If you have questions, please write me in private.

The Power of Good Touch– How to Tell the Difference Between a good Doctor, an Excellent Doctor and a Doctor Who You Never Wish to Relplace!!!

How many times, as a young woman, I was told to go to a certain doctor because the clinic or hospital with which the doctor was affiliated are conveniently located? How many times was I told to see a doctor because he or she was a friend’s friend, or had a short wait list, or no wait list at all?

The concept that a doctor is a doctor, is a doctor, could be compared to the idea that I could paint as well as Salvador Dali, or sing like Adele  or act like Sally Field, and the list goes on and on…The truth is, I cannot! I wish!

After the publication of my Memoir, ‘The Gypsy Saw Two Lives,’ a High School friend from Romania, asked me: “Where did you learn how to write in English?”

He truly didn’t understand why having had the same teachers of English, I ‘learned,’ but he didn’t!  He, on the other hand, was an architect. Geometry and drawing and the gift of design came easy to him.

How could I explain to my friend that each person enters the journey of LIFE with a gift. We all do, but many have difficulties finding ours. It does not mean we don’t have a gift, it only means it is hard to detect it, or we don’t try enough, or  many times those responsible for our development and choices of careers direct us forcefully in the direction they wish. Many times, a parent couldn’t follow his or her dream and forces the child to fulfill the dream of the parent. This could result in confused or even worse, unhappy lives. Many times, at the end of the journey, a person looks back and has to admit in horror that nothing was accomplished of what they would have liked! Their dream turned to dust!

Such sad endings don’t mean the person wasn’t born with a gift. It only means the dream was lost somewhere on the way. The possibilities of  lost dreams are many. There are cross roads and dead ends, and clearings with lakes or running rivers, or oceans and seas …

A brief description would be: TEMPTING!!! to get lost, easier to take a short-cut.

Yes, it is tempting to take an easy way, or to avoid taking the responsibility of a path. When one makes a choice, there is the possibility to win, to be happy, successful, but there is another possibility we all fear: to fail, to be sad, unhappy, to feel  one failed!

Who would wish such an ending: to have lived and to reach the end and look back to see nothing… or even worse, to only see scenes one dislikes, or hates or worse… feels ashamed of!

How do I know  so much about the winding path of life, one might ask?

The answer is simple:

I was one of the manipulated, I was pushed ( read forced) to wonder on various paths which weren’t mine. They were my mother’s. Today, as I approach the stage of life when soon I will have to look back and draw a line and the sign = ??? I see my mother  who was a doctor, a good but unfulfilled doctor, simply because to be a doctor was not her dream! Her dream was to be an Architect and she projected her dream on me!

Today,  I’d call what she did, “manipulation.” At the time when it  happened, I called it motherly love. It was such a warm, comfortable feeling to feel loved by my mother. However, the price for that feeling was a confused youth. Changing careers so many times, I lost count…

Ultimately, after my mother died with her dream of me being an architect unfulfilled, I re-positioned myself, took off the blindfold and started to try various paths which were hidden from me. Soon I discovered my love of writing. It is true, one could ‘learn’ how to write business letters, essays for school tests. This was not the type of writing my architect friend was asking me about. He wanted to know how and where I learned how to write so that many others don’t get bored and throw my writing away after reading the first two lines. That answer was simple: A gift from God and work!

Late in life, I also discovered that my dream, not my mother’s was to be in the helping profession. This was how after I finished my B.A. in English and Romanian, I went to graduate school, and earned my Master of Science in Counseling and Clinical Psychology.

I am sure, by now, the readers of this article might ask themselves, Why is she telling us all of this and how does it connect to being a good doctor?  

If you made it so far into this post, please bear with me a little more…

It is only human, by my standards, to look back and contemplate my life and accomplishments before  I have surgery, especially when it requires general anesthesia. This was what I experienced yesterday, a fairly difficult surgery which triggered the thoughts I share with you now.

My kind neighbor dropped me off and picked me up from the hospital. I entered the hospital alone. I walked the long corridors alone. I pressed the button in elevator D, alone. I was in the waiting room alone. I made the mistake to check around me and I was the only person unaccompanied by a family member. When I realized that, I felt not only alone, but LONELY and SAD!!! I promised my readers to always tell the truth: My heart was broken, what was left of it.

The staff at Pinnacle Hospital made up for my lack of family. I cannot speak any higher of their kindness. Perhaps they felt sorry for me, but the well of tears  had dried already.

After having been asked a few times, my age, why was I there, and the question I like the most, on what side will I have  surgery, I was wheeled in the operating room.

My surgeon,  Angela, Soto Hamlin, M.D. came close to me, as the intravenous, general anesthesia medication started to flow towards my fearful body. Then the miracle happened. Dr. Hamlin reached out and held my hand! In a fraction of a second, my sadness, fear, but especially loneliness disappeared! Her hand expressed a million feelings and one more, but in one  sentence, I would describe  how I felt as a GIFT FROM GOD!

The last thing I recall before I fell asleep, was her touch which spoke to me: Don’t worry, I am here, I am with you and everything will be fine. You are not alone or lonely.

When I woke up, two hours later,  I could  still feel my surgeon’s wonderful touch on my hand.

I could still feel it NOW, because her touch  will be in my heart forever, a gift from God, when I needed His reassurance the most.

Is Dr. Hamlin a good surgeon? She is an exceptional surgeon, but what would make me follow her no matter where she’d work is her sensitivity as a human being. Her Godly touches from all points of view, when I needed them most.

P.S. Late at night, after reading tens of reassuring messages via Facebook and texts, my friend, whose love and purity of feelings have supported me all my life, wrote  after she called  first, to tell me, my daughter, a M.D. and OBGYN, sent my friend a brief email upon learning about my surgery:

“I will pray for her.”

I felt so lucky, with her busy schedule, my daughter had found the time to  write the email and pray for me, her Mom. What I truly hoped was that she would hold a stranger’s hand, just like Dr. Hamlin held mine. I hoped that stranger, because of my daughter’s reassuring  and honest touch would feel less lonely.

There is a price we pay for everything in life…

Is that good or bad? It depends on our deeds. 

In Conclusion:

Thank God for Dr. Hamlin’s Heavenly touch and her heart of gold!