Internet Dating – A Woman’s Perspective

On July 31, 2013, on this blog I published “Internet Dating-A Woman’s Perspective- The Man from Ghana.
Since then, the article was read by hundreds of people around the world. What follows may be considered Part II of the July 31, 2013 post, and as everything written on The Nude Truth, this story is true.

It seems to be cyclical, every two years, my curiosity to discover what is happening out there, in the internet “dating” world. This time, I started my research with the clear goal to learn, so that I could write an informed post to help others and see the humor in what is happening in the internet dating world. The Ghana man experience from 2013 was enough. As they say, “fool me once, fool me twice…”

I was online for a total of 7 days before I deleted my profile. In one week, I received 161 “views,” 93 “likes,” and 47 messages.

Before I joined a couple of sites, I Googled:
Top Internet Dating Sites, and the search produced five sites. Among them, and OKCupid, etc.

I checked out several other paid sites, not listed in the top five, which advertised “free memberships,” but in reality, a “free profile,” was not made public until one paid! Not that free, after all.

Still, it helped me determine an important fact: I checked out a few men and women’s profiles. What struck me was that most women desired a relationship within 10 to 50 miles from their homes, while the men wanted long distance relationships, ranging from 700 miles to 3,000! The conclusion is yours!

The top five sites, each, had clients’ ratings listed next to them and the most ratings were given by OKCupid, which is a free dating site, on which one could use their Facebook account to sign up. Easy and your privacy is guaranteed…

I signed up on OK Cupid, which was free.
Within minutes, I received so many messages that I had to turn off my laptop, take a deep breathe and relax, or rather focus on reality: Who were all these people? Was I THAT attractive? Really!!!
To mind came the women on the Dr. Phil Show, who sent hundreds of thousands of dollars to men they never met, outside the USA.
Well, that would not me, definitely, as I have difficulty comprehending the concept of someone becoming destitute believing in the illusion of so called “love…”

How could one fall in love with a picture? A Voice? How about chemistry? My definition of chemistry is one reaches out and shakes a hand, gets a hug. A direct, undeniable attraction between two people. Still, people do fall in love with the idea of love, and sadly, despite the clear warnings on ALL DATING SITES, to not send money abroad or to people one meets on the Internet, people still repeat the mistake!

Anyway, what have I experienced during this one week adventure on the internet dating scene?

At least 1/4 were men who presented profiles featuring pictures of themselves (may be, but I doubt) their child or children or an older parent. I guess the idea was, they cared. they were good family men.
90% of those with whom I exchanged messages told me they were widowed and were single parents. It was painful and hard!!!

The initial profiles stated they were in the United States, but after a second email exchange, they “entrusted” me with a secret: THEY WERE ON A SPECIAL MISSION, ABROAD!!!

All, wanted to take the chat off the dating site and offered Facebook accounts, to friend me and chat. I insisted on me getting their information, which they were happy to oblige.

I checked out one Facebook account. A “pilot!” Yes, you read it correctly. An Air Force officer, putting his life out on a limb for you and I! Wow! How lucky could a woman get after being on line less than 48 hours?LOL
On a thorough examination of his Facebook account, it became clear he started the FB account a few months ago and, how silly is this? On the public timeline, there were messages from various women stating how much they missed him, as he was in the air, I guess…

What else? Oh, yes! The profiles were written in good English but as the back and forth emails started, the more they wrote, the worse their English became. It must have been the anxiety of finding love!

After three days of figuring out the “outside of the USA segment,” I wrote a paragraph on my profile, under the Heading, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? (my life, that was!)
I stated, the one thing I was not doing was interested in overseas relationships.
The overseas secret mission people stopped emailing me!

A much smaller, local segment continued to write. The only one which I would mention, was a man who wrote:

“I am a former intelligent, Intelligence Agent… etc” Then he told me he was also a pilot and had his own plane and was just about to go “take off for an hour or so, just to be in the air,” but what HE didn’t know, was the web site showed me every time someone checked my profile. So, while he was “in the air,” the dating site alerted me he was checking my profile. It was funny, but forgivable, since he stated from the beginning, he was “FORMER INTELLIGENT.”

I was tempted to keep going for a while, but the local pilot, asked a question which determined me to end the budding relationship and delete my account.

He asked: Do you own or rent? Is it an apartment, or a house?
How was this his business? Was he fishing for free housing? Oh… may be he wanted to buy me a house and I missed the opportunity!

So… I guess this is all for now. If you wish to receive free tips to improve your daily living, please follow us by signing up in the email box to the right.

We ALWAYS appreciate your comments and shares of experiences. This is how we all learn and better our lives and do it in a light, humorous way.

Best wishes for a lovely weekend!

Dating After You Turn 50!

Dating  in any age group could be a challenge.

Each age group seeks something else from a “potential” partner.

I don’t know about you, but when I was a teenager, and as ALL teenagers I saw myself  immortal and knew it all, I ignored all the advice given to me by those that “knew.” I eloped and got married! What were my needs at 18? Definitely sexual, as now, I know enough  about the role hormones  in our love decisions. Then, I thought it was “love.” Now I know it was “lust.”

When I turned 30 I was  already divorced from the first “love of my life.”

In a new environment, I started dating and also reading every statistic in Women’s Magazines which assured me once a woman turned 30 her chances of finding a partner went down drastically. Hmm… bad news, but against the statistical odds, I re-married and we had two beautiful daughters. What were my needs at that time? I definitely knew I didn’t know it all, I also had different goals, such as having children with a trustworthy partner. Was sex still playing a great role? You bet! That’s how kids are conceived.

Years went by, the children grew up, the second “love of my life,” died, and here I was again, single and in my fifties…

Hmm… did I think I knew it all? No. Were my hormones raging to the point of confusing lust with love? No. Did I want to get pregnant and raise more children? Oh… well that would have been a miracle. No miracle happened.

On the other hand, after a few years of being by myself, and enjoying the company of my parrot and three dogs, I did consider starting to date again. What was I looking for?

Someone with a sense of humor, trustworthy and like-minded. Such as what? To like travel, shows and sometimes going out or having friends over. Oh! And to love  children and dogs. Yes, this was a requirement, as I don’t trust people who don’t like children and animals. Call me prejudiced.

I thought  this was a reasonable “wishful list,” as I was prepared to reciprocate everything I sought in a potential companion. I knew a good  relationship is a two-way street and I only travel on this “type” of streets.

And… where was I going to find these  “potential” men? I don’t go to bars, I don’t go to a church of single people… Thank God for internet dating sites, right?

I was soon to find out that the age groups I attracted were either much younger, looking for a “mama,” or someone to pay their bills, men my age who who were used to have sex on a first date, possibly in the back of a car, if it was spacious enough, or men 30 years older then me, who were on the verge of investing in the diaper industry.

After serious consideration, I gave up  looking for a male companion.

Why? Perhaps because I have learned valuable life lessons and  in my fifties I looked for a soul connection, rather than a “must” have partner to satisfy the sexual needs I had at 18, or the need to have children, a status and a husband if we are 30 and still seeking that perfect partner.

My personal conclusion is that we are wiser and deeper after fifty.

We know not only what we need from another, but what we could realistically offer to a  committed companion. We don’t have the need to get married or have children. In this age group the main need is for companionship, meaning and soul connection. Well, sex is a constant, in all age groups, but it gains a different meaning as we grow wiser, just as good wines get better with age.

Is it worth it to be selective? Which would you rather be? Alone, or rather “single,” with your friends, hobbies and pets, or not alone but lonely with the wrong companion?

The choice is ours.