Dating After You Turn 50!

Dating  in any age group could be a challenge.

Each age group seeks something else from a “potential” partner.

I don’t know about you, but when I was a teenager, and as ALL teenagers I saw myself  immortal and knew it all, I ignored all the advice given to me by those that “knew.” I eloped and got married! What were my needs at 18? Definitely sexual, as now, I know enough  about the role hormones  in our love decisions. Then, I thought it was “love.” Now I know it was “lust.”

When I turned 30 I was  already divorced from the first “love of my life.”

In a new environment, I started dating and also reading every statistic in Women’s Magazines which assured me once a woman turned 30 her chances of finding a partner went down drastically. Hmm… bad news, but against the statistical odds, I re-married and we had two beautiful daughters. What were my needs at that time? I definitely knew I didn’t know it all, I also had different goals, such as having children with a trustworthy partner. Was sex still playing a great role? You bet! That’s how kids are conceived.

Years went by, the children grew up, the second “love of my life,” died, and here I was again, single and in my fifties…

Hmm… did I think I knew it all? No. Were my hormones raging to the point of confusing lust with love? No. Did I want to get pregnant and raise more children? Oh… well that would have been a miracle. No miracle happened.

On the other hand, after a few years of being by myself, and enjoying the company of my parrot and three dogs, I did consider starting to date again. What was I looking for?

Someone with a sense of humor, trustworthy and like-minded. Such as what? To like travel, shows and sometimes going out or having friends over. Oh! And to love  children and dogs. Yes, this was a requirement, as I don’t trust people who don’t like children and animals. Call me prejudiced.

I thought  this was a reasonable “wishful list,” as I was prepared to reciprocate everything I sought in a potential companion. I knew a good  relationship is a two-way street and I only travel on this “type” of streets.

And… where was I going to find these  “potential” men? I don’t go to bars, I don’t go to a church of single people… Thank God for internet dating sites, right?

I was soon to find out that the age groups I attracted were either much younger, looking for a “mama,” or someone to pay their bills, men my age who who were used to have sex on a first date, possibly in the back of a car, if it was spacious enough, or men 30 years older then me, who were on the verge of investing in the diaper industry.

After serious consideration, I gave up  looking for a male companion.

Why? Perhaps because I have learned valuable life lessons and  in my fifties I looked for a soul connection, rather than a “must” have partner to satisfy the sexual needs I had at 18, or the need to have children, a status and a husband if we are 30 and still seeking that perfect partner.

My personal conclusion is that we are wiser and deeper after fifty.

We know not only what we need from another, but what we could realistically offer to a  committed companion. We don’t have the need to get married or have children. In this age group the main need is for companionship, meaning and soul connection. Well, sex is a constant, in all age groups, but it gains a different meaning as we grow wiser, just as good wines get better with age.

Is it worth it to be selective? Which would you rather be? Alone, or rather “single,” with your friends, hobbies and pets, or not alone but lonely with the wrong companion?

The choice is ours.

Rodica

 

https://www.proventherapy.com/Rodica

 

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