When Our Biological Clock Goes Tick…Toc… Stupid Happens!

The marketing geared towards the single, professional women in their thierties is probably one of the largest and most efficient that there is in the no nonsense world of marketing. And why is that you might ask?
May be because there is an avid market, millions of single, beautiful women who perhaps waited too long for Mr. Perfect and now feared he may not even exist, or “all the good ones were already taken!”

Advances in science made it easier on the aging women and unlike 20 years ago, it is possible now to have a perfectly adorable child in your 40s’ or may be your Mom could be the “oven” at any age?
I don’t know about right now, but 20 years ago, after the love of my life decided to have a child with his secretary and divorce me in a rush, I felt that I had to do something about the situation. Not only was I abandoned in a new environment, a new country, but my thiertiest birthday was approaching fast and there was no way to turn back the clock.
The reality that I had spend my most prolific years trying to not get pregnant, and the second I turned my head, my ex-husband rushed into fatherhood with another woman, a woman I hated and despised, and she was stupid and ugly, hit me in my EGO!
Cosmopolitan Magazine with its stats didn’t help and the long line of failed relationships lasting six months at the most was not encouraging.
I had to set goals, rules, such as, if a relationship was not taking us anywhere, meaning marriage, babies and pets, I had to move on, as the echo of my biological clock was blasting in my ears and uterus.

Just after I broke up a six months relationship with a doctor who already had three kids and wasn’t interested in more, I discovered that he was at the same time involved with his receptionist and surprise! She got pregnant without discussing it first, because it was an accident… and a gentlemen is a gentlemen and he married her. True, his son from his first marriage had a son older than his father’s new baby, but hey, everything goes!

As I was still recovering from the shock of my honesty, I met what seemed to be the perfect life partner. We met at the opening of a restaurant and were introduced by my alcoholic girlfriend and her married (to someone else) boyfriend. I know, it doesn’t sound too respectable, but one works with what one has… at hand!
My new found boyfriend and I hit it immediately, as in we didn’t waste too long and became intimate.
It seemed strange to me that in the middle of a perfect love-making night he was prespiring and HAD to leave… I knew nothing about drugs and withdrawing symptoms.
I even thought it was okay that he didn’t have a serious relationship in ten years and his favorite hang out place was in the Philly’s Red District, at a corner bar.
I so didn’t want to see anything negative that when he finally invited me to his house and declared that he only cleaned twice a year if necessary, I thought that was fixable. I was going to clean and do it all!
Everything was fixable, the bizarre parents, the father drinking starting at Noon and playing solitaire and the mother sipping sherry all day long on a blue couch, my beloved long hair which was cut short to help with his new image of married man.

Did I love him? May be. The truth, as I see it now is that the noise of my biological clock was louder and stronger than any other emotion. I wanted kids, and I wanted them YESTERDAY. I wanted them before my husband’s which was an impossibility: His son was already one year old and I was still in the process of finding the right partner.

We married in April and by mid- February of the following year, a daughter was born: Eva. Because I was 36 years old I had to have an amniosinthesis. The father of the baby to be, was present for a while, then suddenly, the entire medical staff disappeared, while I was hoping for their maximum attention. What happened? I turned my head to only see the father to be, my pride and joy fainted! That was fixable too, I was strong for both of us, and life proved me right. I realy had no choice but to be strong for all of us!
After Eva’s birth, I wasted no time and got pregnant again. 18 month between the two daughters. Natalie, unlike Eva, new from the beginning how to connect to the source of food, meaning my breast.
There is something which may not be described, the feeling that not only my body housed the bodies and souls of these two perfect human beings, but the feeling that they were MY responsibility in the face of God! Upon their birth all other feelings disappeared and they became the LOVES of my life! A love unlike no other!

As time and life will prove, one could love too much, care too much and get hurt… in ways that at this moment I have no words how to describe…but I will… when the time comes!

We met at the opening of a restaurant

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