Tips From a Bitch on How to Get what One Wants

20140905_151304100_1180IMG_0003She is black, sleek and always in a good mood, nothing could phase Lola, who, as the song goes always gets what she wants!

In spite of the “black dog syndrome,” plaguing our society in the 21 Century, I adopted Lola, and wanted her to be totally black. Black makes a statement of elegance and self-confidence. After all, why do so many people dress in black for special events? Every woman, or almost, has her “black dress.” One cannot go wrong with being dressed in black, and if you are going to a funeral stay dressed in black, if to a wedding, get some red or purple accents (shawls, jewelry etc) and you are suddenly in a good mood!

I rescued Lola about two years ago, because dogs are pack animals and it is nice to have company.
I already had Sophie, who at age 14 doesn’t want to be bothered, but still plays with Lola. They even talk to one another. Lola always complains about this and that and Sophie, as the wise bitch that she is, ignores her. The inter-generational communication seems to benefit both.

The relationship is totally different between Duke, a beautiful male boxer age 7, and Lola.
I have observed their interactions and it JUST crossed my mind we could all learn from Lola, a thing or two…
Lola’s goal in life seems to be food! Being a lab mix, I was told this is normal. However, it so happens, the boxer’s goal seems to be the same: food!

When I feed them, in different parts of the room, to make sure they know which is their food, Lola seems to be a vacuum for anything that I feed or not feed her and she decides to eat anyway! She is always done eating first!

Duke, who also loves his food, eats it slowly, enjoying every bite.
Lola, after finishing what’s rightfully hers, approaches him slowly, and as innocently as possible starts leaking and cleaning HIM, his entire body, as she slowly approaches her goal: his food!
Duke, is in Heaven. Who wouldn’t like to eat his favorite food while being gently touched by a beautiful younger…bitch???


By the time she reaches his front paws, she is also eating his food and Duke, who always defended what was HIS, is not growling… He barely notices that she is suddenly in his bowl, eating his food.

I was amused by this observation, but then I thought we, the “know it all” humans, could learn a lesson from Lola.

A popular saying states: “YOU COULD GET MORE USING HONEY!

So, next time I will be tempted to get something by using force and anger, I will recall the image of Lola, who always gets what she wants.
Here are the photos of the characters in question.

Cancer Cells Types May Determine IF you Live or Die– What Your Doctor Doesn’t Tell You… Unless YOU ASK!!! The Danger of Misdiagnosis–

Cancer Cells Types May Determine IF you Live or Die– What Your Doctor Doesn't Tell You… Unless YOU ASK!!! The Danger of Misdiagnosis–.

Cancer Cells Types May Determine IF you Live or Die– What Your Doctor Doesn’t Tell You… Unless YOU ASK!!! The Danger of Misdiagnosis–

Cancer, which was some years ago a death sentence, has become manageable. With early detection, treatment options and on going increased funding for cancer research: FIND THE CURE!!!! scream various non-profit organizations and people dish money, many times not knowing where exactly their donations go. I personally want to now if I am funding some CEOs trips to Europe, so I do my research and mostly give the little I have directly where I know for sure there is a legitimate need.

The DARK SIDE:

Most funds, both in federal grants and private go to research of the MOST COMMON TYPES of cancer, but wait!!!
DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF TYPES OF CANCERS AND DIAGNOSING FROM THE BEGINNING THE CORRECT TYPE WILL DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE. Plainly said: if you have one.
The RARE CANCERS such as sarcoma research is underfunded as compared with the most common cancers.
Most of us could relate to the sentence: “she had breast cancer, ten years ago, but she is fine.”
She IS a survivor!!!

Generally, no one asks: WHAT TYPE OF BREAST CANCER?

The most common, milk duct cancer is well researched and indeed the rates of survival and quality life have increased significantly. But what if the person has another type, say INFLAMMATORY BREAST CANCER? What? Oh there are more than ONE TYPE of cancer CELLS? YES, HUNDREDS and subgroups and each type has a different ideal treatment protocol!

I chose breast cancer as an example because is the most talked about among women, as prostrate is among men.

Being a woman, I do not know much about prostate cancer but my assumption is that everywhere in the body where there is a possibility of cancer cells, determining correctly the TYPE of cancer, is of life or death importance!
This is why to detect it, to read the TESTS accurately (including the x-rays, pet scans, MRIs,) and blood work are so important. Most of us think “surgeon,” and are very selective about who cuts us.
This is important, and large margins if it is cancer are also important at the time of surgery. What are “margins?” It means more tissue must be removed when the tumor is removed to ensure there are no cancer cells left after surgery.

Let’s THINK WHO else is crucial in diagnosing correctly and treating the cancer, and everything in general.
I call them the three Gods or Godesses of Medicine:

1. The RADIOLOGIST – if he/she misses the problem, then it’s over before it starts.

2. The PATHOLOGIST — If you have a biopsy — the interventional team — if it is a needle biopsy, ask is it a core biopsy or a fine needle biopsy. The level of pain is much higher with a core biopsy. The cells obtained during a needle biopsy may be irrelevant and the pathologists determine the TYPE OF CELLS, therefore your future. If a pathology report says everything is fine, then off you go into the world and may die of irrelevant, general causes!

3. Your surgeon and your oncologist are also important. ALL your doctors and especially your family doctor.
To me, no offense, but in the case of cancer or a serious condition, the foundation is the radiologist and pathologist FIRST. The Gods listed under number 3 are what we SEE the most.

Cancer and my personal experience…

I have to bore you with a story that goes back to Romania of 1980 when my mother, a M.D. herself, had a radical mastectomy. After less then two years she experienced severe pain in her spine.
We went back to the Oncological Hospital and was assured it was “all in her head.”
The back and forth trips lasted a few months.
I remember going to see my mom in the hospital and speaking to the doctor who told me she was fine, it was psychological!
I was a very young woman, so as one could imagine my world collapsed when the next morning, I received a call from the hospital informing me she PARALIZED overnight and they were moving her to another hospital as we spoke! I barely made it to the hospital as she was transported to this “other” hospital!. Later I understood mortality rates count and this hospital didn’t want people to die on their watch.
This experience is the subject of an entire post on this blog and a chapter in my book, The Gypsy Saw two Lives. My mom lived in horrible pain for another two years…at the very end I called a priest to absolve her of her sins. She was an atheist, but I thought she was in a coma and unconscious. After the Priest spend 5 minutes “praying” for her soul, he took his fee and left. When I came back, my mother was out of her coma, she opened her eyes wide and said:”Why did YOU call a Priest? I told you, there is no God. If it were, my life would have been different!” Then she died.
A heavy burden for a young woman to bear and even today, although God made himself shown in many circumstances of my life, we have an up and down “relationship.”

Let’s forward to 2005 in Philadelphia, USA!!!

Good doctors, amazing technology. I was in the best of hands! NOT to worry!
My family doctor send me for an MRI of the spine, related to arthritis (oops… here goes the Privacy Act down the drain, but I am allowed to disclose things about myself… still!)

The radiologist went beyond the call of duty and looked at my shoulder blades as well. Low and behold, he reported a partial tumor UNDER my left scapula, which required immediate attention.

My doctor called, and one knows when is bad news the doctor calls, if it’s rotine, the nurse does and everyone is happy! Sometimes is called “human error,” and no one calls and there IS a problem. This is why it is so important to not assume and take the responsibility for your own life and call your doctor and ask about your TEST results.
So far, so good in my case. I went next to the best shoulder specialist at the best orthopedic hospital in the area. They took xrays of my shoulder, even if I brought with me an MRI report which showed the iffy finding.
The doctor, a jovial older man, shook my hand, smiled as he was followed by many residents in training, and had to show good bed side manners, and said:
“You have tendonitis! Nothing to worry about”
“Tendonitis? I said. “But the MRI shows a tumor and urges me to see an orthopedic doctor immediately.. ”

And this is where God gave me the courage to speak up and respectfully asked the doctor to consult with other radiologists, just for my peace of mind, as I was crazy! OKAY I could live with “crazy!”

Christmas Eve, two weeks later, as I drove home and must admit I answered the call, it was the specialist. He informed me that they consulted with others and indeed I MUST see an oncological orthopedic doctor.
A what????? I didn’t know they existed. Along the years, I learned that we are so specialized, we are a puzzle and if your problem “doesn’t fit a usually it is… pattern,” YOU really have to be crazy to fight.
That is if you want to live. Do you still have things to do here, on this journey? Then FIGHT!!!

A series of experiences, one worse than other followed and I ended up at Sloan Kettering in New York City.
In all honesty, I am ashamed to admit, a client suggested I go to Sloan, and the ONLY Sloan I knew was a local car dealer. I Googled the name and here it was: a Hospital! One of the best in the world.
The New York experience was good and celebrate, celebrate, the tumor was excised and it was benign!!!
Two weeks later, I went for my check up. Of course, a Saint saw me (these are the residents) because God was busy with surgeries.
The resident said:
“You know the good news, it was benign!”
And here is a VOICE whispering to me: ASK FOR THE PATHOLOGY REPORT. I did!
The Resident went out and came back into the room still reading the report!
He was pale and looked embarrased. I knew…
“It was cancer, wasn’t it?” I asked
“Well, they changed the diagnosis for us! It almost never happens!”
Now it was FINALLY, after FOUR MISDIAGNOSIS diagnosed correctly!
TRUTH: NO ONE changed the diagnosis! During surgery, the pathologist gives a PRELIMINARY report!!!!

It is called PRELIMINARY for a reason. Guess what that is? It’s NOT FINAL!!!
YOU MUST BE SURE YOU SEE AND HAVE A COPY OF THE FINAL PATHOLOGY REPORT!!!

Let’s fast forward again!!!
Since my mother died from breast cancer I faithfully go for my mammograms and since in 20010 I moved from Philadelphia, I had my mamorgam here this year.
In 2012, I told the specialists at Fox Chase in Philadelphia, that I felt some nodules in my right axillary. An ultrasound followed, which confirmed the existence of what I felt. Since the lymph nodes where near the breast, it suddenly became NOT a breast issue and I was sent to another specialist. She looked at me, as if I was pathologically attached to this idea of something being not right! Imagine why! Because my persistence ALWAYS proved correct!
She assured me it was all fine. The nodules were just there, all was normal!
But this year, suddenly the exam showed these normal lymph nodes looked larger and needed follow up.

I am lucky to have an oncologist who is so smart, he knows and accepts we don’t know it all.
I could only work with doctors who are continuously learning and accept the idea that if someone, somewhere didn’t doubt what we knew, there would be NO PROGRESS!!!

It is the PRACTICE OF MEDICINE!!!!

So at the present time I am again on the rolling hills and iffy opinions.
If someone says:“USUALLY IT IS>>>” It is a bad sign!!!
If your case doesn’t fit in the cookie cutter, your life is at risk!!! Please ask, is what you are telling me 100% the correct diagnosis?

I took the words: usually, almost sure, generally, out of my vocabulary and if I hear my specialist doctor giving me a “general” answer I say thank you and good bye.

I didn’t wish on myself rare unusual types of cells. If they are, then I MUST be sure, as my life depends on it!
I’d rather die of natural causes after 80 and not from “generally not known causes, much earlier!”
I still have tasks to accomplish here, on Earth.

In conclusion: know your personal case, no matter the problem. YOU have YOU ONLY to take care of. The Gods have thousands, things get misinterpreted, fall through the cracks. ASK and research yourself. If your doctor is “concerned” you researched it on the internet, this is a bad sign. That is NOT to say to trust all web sites which talk about cancer. But Mayo Clinic is trustworthy, all the big hospital’s such as University of PA, M.D. Anderson, Dana Faber, WEB MD. I discovered last night a new site which seemed promising: http://www.breastlink.com
It gave me information I didn’t find anywhere else.

Be aware your case is not automatically “placed” in the “usual,” class and make sure your FINAL diagnosis is correct, as your treatment depends on it and I hate to bring it up, but your life and quality of life ultimately, depend on YOU knowing in your heart you are unique and there is nothing general and usual about a diagnosis which determines a course of treatment.

God, as a Romanian proverb states, helps those who help themselves!

1400793219461
http://www.proventherapy.com/Rodica

How to Tell for Sure which Day It Is!!!

I am not an expert in the history of calendars and how it all came to be. I assume the central NEED was to be in an important place at the same time as everyone else, or whoever you wanted to meet (a date?).

Keeping in mind this short history, which I invented using my common sense, i would like to share a story, which as all stories on this blog are true.
For weeks, I have been looking forward to this one day trip to New York City. ONE DAY, so my neighbor would feed the dogs, etc.

Between the few activities I have scheduled and writing and watching Netflix, and writing again and working on my laptop, sometimes, let’s be honest, many times, the days and nights become a blur and the result is my personal time zone!
I was really looking forward to Monday. printed the e-ticket, almost had a heart attack looking at the price of $95 Round Trip, Harrisburg, PA to New York City. Thank you AmTrak! for taking my dogs treats. All set, I called my nice neighbors to make sure we were still “on.” My friend said, they are so sorry, they were out of town until tomorrow night. Okay, I thought, so he has Monday off, I guess the dogs will be okay…
I set my alarm on two cells for 7:00 AM to be on a 9:00 AM train.
I was so nervous that I woke up at 6:00 AM worried about it all, dogs, parrot, trip…
I drank my coffee, went in the garden, meditated, meaning tried to stop my mind from racing and went to check my emails.
At some point, I figured it must have been 7:00 AM,or I was too efficient; why weren’t the ALARMS ringing??? Oh I concluded, both are broken. I checked a third clock which also showed Sunday, 7:30 AM
“God,” they are all wrong! Good thing I know better!”

Because I was all dressed and ready to go catch the train to NYC, I turned on the news.
I always watch NBC and what do you think NBC News said (to ME personally, as soon as I turned on the TV):

Today, Sunday, September 14!!!

So, if NBC agreed to all the broken alarms and clocks…my lesson is, IF NBC TOO, SAYS IS SUNDAY, IT IS!!!
Now I am determined to check my personal time zone and get it all in sync.
Instead, I went to church and now am reflecting on a wonderful message which I will share too We don’t obey the 10 commandments because that brings us to God, but because we are already with God. Our Pastor said it much better, but it was a bonus of mixing up the days of the week.
The major lesson, remains,
If NBC says it’s Sunday, it probably is!

Hackers of Everything You wrote to the Wrong Blog

Yes, YOU, the one who commented on one of my posts, seriously, find a more exciting blogger. You know, sex, people who disappear, where to contract AIDS or where not to. This is a decent, boring blog and those almost 22,000 who read it are all IT experts. They want to know if you, the hackers from India wish in exchange to use them to protect your hackings from other hackers from outside India. Like a hacker for a hacker service.
You state your ability to hack blogs, bank accounts, pay pal accounts, changing college grates, Meaning what? A rich idiot pays you and puff he’s got an A?
Watch out, the hackers may be hacked in the world of hacking!

I have to thank you because I didn’t dream so many things could be hacked. Is it legal, may be we should ask the FBI before I post on my clean, decent blog your advertisements for hacking.

Oh you may be in India, but I am there too every time I speak to Microsoft company or a cell phone company. NO big deal you are in India too. I’d change it for Russia. Much more scary
So, since I love my readers, I thought I’d let you know to watch for those hackers from India, even if they offer you a list of 20 things to hack at reasonable prices and you are in the same profession, but better.

Oh, I hope FBI works around the clock because I do and just emailed them a report. NOT JOKING. Please keep us safe, I left my info and hope to hear from you. Meaning the FBI -I am counting on your help. Thank you.

A Nobody!

A Nobody!.

A Nobody!

The flat voice of the television anchor from California,

Delivers the “Breaking News:”

Earthquakes near San Francisco

Floods in Southern California

Fires…everywhere!

California, the Paradise of beauty and danger,

Where my grown up children reside.

My heart dares to flutter with fear…

I might loose what I already lost!

I feel like a wounded butterfly,

I try to fly, but my wings are already shredded

I lay in the dust, unable to breathe…

The grand-father clock strikes Mid-Night.

My eyes, wide-open continue to stare

At what was declared the uselessness of motherly love: a black, empty ceiling!!!

Unable to fly, to dream, to hope;Motionless to the core of who I used to be!

Punished by whom I love unconditionally for crimes I didn’t know existed

Inhumane acts, invented by a skilled psychotherapist to shape to her benefit, confused minds of unsuspected patients.

How could I end the nightmare?

Or is this the core of my true life?

Would it EVER end???

Science assures us reality=perception…

Is how I feel real, or a nightmare,

So intense,it took over reality and

It distorted my true life!

My mind repeats over and over again,

Like an old record from the 1950’s:

Is this a nightmare or is this my life?

Silence. Silence. Silence!

The Earth doesn’t shake?

What could a mother do when the message is clear:

Too old

Too sick

Too poor

Too costly to keep around if there are NO benefits?

The consciousness, what’s left of it, tries to voice questions,

But is suffocated by the powers of Evil!

Could a MOTHER be useless, the voice screams to deaf ears!

Could she be disposed of,like a bag of trash, with no consequences?

Or perhaps God exists, a Higher Power which in its moments of weakness,

May be silenced with money too…but not endlessly???

Such an alternative is unreasonable but not impossible .

The slightest possibility of such manifestations of Evil clothed in deceiving costumes,

Scares me, but does not make me run, it makes me fight harder!

What is the ROOT of the Evil, at least the most obvious?

“Follow the money, simple but wise business minds advice.

 

The “monster mother’s cancer”rushes back into her weakened,stressed body…

Death would make everything  easy and honorable!

A “blessing.” An Eulogy, two tears, a tissue to wipe them off. DONE!!!

Money and psychotherapists, clinical hypnotherapy and $200.00 a session, and anything, the purest of people could be convinced of their own innocence, even when guilty screams in their face! But after all they pay for their professionally determined innocence and you get what you pay for!

To win over an unsuspecting emotional slave, the only thing which MUST be REAL are the MONEY!!!

To destroy the sacred bond mother-daughter, it takes money, but after all, everything has a price!

and the richest delight in the arms of the Evil!

Who am I after all…

Too hurt,

Too numb,

Too devastated…

My whole being is pure pain!

I feel at last, like who my children determined:

A NOBODY!!!

 

__IMPORTANT______________

This poem represents the expression of the deepest, most painful feelings I experienced! The essence of 27 years of motherly, unconditional love.  If other devastated mothers, who gave it all, relate to this poem, please know, this is why I wrote it, with my heart, my blood, the essence of my soul, because I hope someone, another mother, somewhere in the world will feel less lonely and less guilty for crimes she didn’t commit.

If this confession, makes other mothers less lonely and less confused,or, anyone would feel better by cotacting me, please do!

Rodica. A Mother like any other...

Rodica. A Mother like any other…

rodimihalis@gmail.com My offer is FREE and comes from a broken heart which is strong enough to help others.

 

 

http://www.proventherapy.com/Rodica