The flat voice of the television anchor from California,
Delivers the “Breaking News:”
Earthquakes near San Francisco
Floods in Southern California
California, the Paradise of beauty and danger,
Where my grown up children reside.
My heart dares to flutter with fear…
I might loose what I already lost!
I feel like a wounded butterfly,
I try to fly, but my wings are already shredded
I lay in the dust, unable to breathe…
The grand-father clock strikes Mid-Night.
My eyes, wide-open continue to stare
At what was declared the uselessness of motherly love: a black, empty ceiling!!!
Unable to fly, to dream, to hope;Motionless to the core of who I used to be!
Punished by whom I love unconditionally for crimes I didn’t know existed
Inhumane acts, invented by a skilled psychotherapist to shape to her benefit, confused minds of unsuspected patients.
How could I end the nightmare?
Or is this the core of my true life?
Would it EVER end???
Science assures us reality=perception…
Is how I feel real, or a nightmare,
So intense,it took over reality and
It distorted my true life!
My mind repeats over and over again,
Like an old record from the 1950’s:
Is this a nightmare or is this my life?
Silence. Silence. Silence!
The Earth doesn’t shake?
What could a mother do when the message is clear:
Too costly to keep around if there are NO benefits?
The consciousness, what’s left of it, tries to voice questions,
But is suffocated by the powers of Evil!
Could a MOTHER be useless, the voice screams to deaf ears!
Could she be disposed of,like a bag of trash, with no consequences?
Or perhaps God exists, a Higher Power which in its moments of weakness,
May be silenced with money too…but not endlessly???
Such an alternative is unreasonable but not impossible .
The slightest possibility of such manifestations of Evil clothed in deceiving costumes,
Scares me, but does not make me run, it makes me fight harder!
What is the ROOT of the Evil, at least the most obvious?
“Follow the money, simple but wise business minds advice.
The “monster mother’s cancer”rushes back into her weakened,stressed body…
Death would make everything easy and honorable!
A “blessing.” An Eulogy, two tears, a tissue to wipe them off. DONE!!!
Money and psychotherapists, clinical hypnotherapy and $200.00 a session, and anything, the purest of people could be convinced of their own innocence, even when guilty screams in their face! But after all they pay for their professionally determined innocence and you get what you pay for!
To win over an unsuspecting emotional slave, the only thing which MUST be REAL are the MONEY!!!
To destroy the sacred bond mother-daughter, it takes money, but after all, everything has a price!
and the richest delight in the arms of the Evil!
Who am I after all…
My whole being is pure pain!
I feel at last, like who my children determined:
This poem represents the expression of the deepest, most painful feelings I experienced! The essence of 27 years of motherly, unconditional love. If other devastated mothers, who gave it all, relate to this poem, please know, this is why I wrote it, with my heart, my blood, the essence of my soul, because I hope someone, another mother, somewhere in the world will feel less lonely and less guilty for crimes she didn’t commit.
If this confession, makes other mothers less lonely and less confused,or, anyone would feel better by cotacting me, please do!
firstname.lastname@example.org My offer is FREE and comes from a broken heart which is strong enough to help others.